My dad passing away was the most devastating thing to happen to my family...ever. I know he's gone and I've accepted that, but sometimes it doesn't seem real. He passed away on September 7, 2015 - my mom, brother and I were by his side. He didn't open his eyes to see us one last time and he didn't get to say anything heartfelt before he left us, but we held his hand tight. The three of us just cried and held onto my dad as long as we could.
Telling you that I miss my dad is such a huge understatement - there's this giant void inside of me without him here. My dad was...something else. He was kind, but not just normal kind - the superhuman kind. And, he was so funny - the kind of funny that makes you feel warm and happy inside. He was my twin - we had the same mannerisms, eating habits, unnecessary road rage; we were major foodies, appreciators of well-made documentaries, etc. My mom often says I'm just like my dad - it warms my heart to hear her say that.
I know he's in heaven now, celebrating with other people who have passed on - but, he's not HERE. I can't walk Belle around the neighborhood with him, I can't share Sunday meals with him or go to the movies just because. All of those things are just memories now and I don't get to make new ones with him...
But, then I remember his face and his voice, the meals we shared and lots of laughter - those are the things that keep me going and the sadness leaves. I will miss him calling my name and making fun of me. I will miss his invitations to go to Costco to eat pizza and hot dogs. I will miss him telling me that I drive like a maniac. I will miss him telling me I sing too much in the shower. I will miss the way his face lit up when I'd walk through the front door or the pure excitement he had going to the Korean market with our family. I will miss making him laugh...I was good at that.
But, then I remember his face and his voice, the meals we shared and lots of laughter - those are the things that keep me going and the sadness leaves. I will miss him calling my name and making fun of me. I will miss his invitations to go to Costco to eat pizza and hot dogs. I will miss him telling me that I drive like a maniac. I will miss him telling me I sing too much in the shower. I will miss the way his face lit up when I'd walk through the front door or the pure excitement he had going to the Korean market with our family. I will miss making him laugh...I was good at that.
