A friend sent me an Instagram post on my birthday that was really encouraging and I wanted to share it here:
today is my birthday.
first thing I did was to go to a cafe
and get myself a cup of coffee.
then I sat down and started to think.
about my past year. about the things that
happened. about the things that did not
happen. about the crappy times. and about
the things that I am grateful of, in the end.
things don't always happen the way we
want them to be. people don't always
stay. the hopes that make you feel alive
often end up killing you too.
I was disappointed that a lot of things
I wanted to happen did not yet.
but I am also so so grateful for the things
that I have now that I never thought I could
ever achieve when I was younger. and that
makes me tremendously happy.
I am grateful for this account. for this
platform I have to be able to post my
thoughts openly and be accepted for it.
grateful for you -- who is reading this.
on most days, this platform is my coping
mechanism. without it,. things might not
feel as light as they are now.
I don't know when I started feeling this way, but I get the birthday blues every year. It's not that I'm not grateful for my life and all of the wonderful things that have happened, but it's just something that happens to my mood around my birthday. Part of me just feels sad. Perhaps it comes from my tendency to think about the things I haven't accomplished yet or maybe it's because I feel like I'm not moving forward. Still trying to figure it out! Anyways, after reading the Instagram post my friend sent me - I reflected on my day and made a list of the little things that brought joy on my birthday and I wanted to share them here:
- being home
- really nice weather
- my mom making me 미역국 (seaweed soup) for my birthday
- my mom's willingness to drive me everywhere (due to my sprained ankle)
- my mom carrying my crutches down the stairs when I need to leave the house
- receiving thoughtful gifts from my friends
- one of my friends stopping by to say hello and buy me birthday doughnuts
- my brother and sister-in-law asking if I wanted to go to Carlsbad to see the flower fields
- friends I haven't talked to in a long time sending me birthday messages
- going to a local park with my mom to celebrate my birthday
- my mom bringing a plate of fruits for us to eat at the park (kiwis, oranges & strawberries)
- my left arm not feeling as sore from my first vaccination shot
- finishing my "wizard of oz" puzzle (even though there's one piece missing)
- getting my free Starbucks drink (and for my mom being willing to drive me)
- good conversations with new people in my life
- my thriving three plants
- being on sabbatical
here are a few photos from my birthday this year. it was very low-key, but still wanted to capture a few special moments.
